THE ETIQUETTE OF ILLNESS

I recently had the misfortune of falling ill. No big deal people

 fall ill all the time. My peculiarity is I do not like going to the

doctor's….in addition, unlike others I am no good at self

diagnosis. My friends and family were quiet concerned. My

illness made me very tired. I slept a lot and when I wasn’t

sleeping I would be listless. I had the occasional bursts of

energy followed by bone crushing tiredness…

  

Naturally questions followed, chief of which was “what is

wrong with you?” In truth I had no clue. So I could not give

an answer. On the other hand,  what if I did know what was

 wrong, would I be willing to tell? People ask out of genuine

concern and not idle curiosity (I hope) but like the amount of

 income you earn, it’s not information you are always willing

to share.

 

Sometimes the ailment may be one we are still trying to

come to terms with. We may not even wish to worry our

loved ones and are bidding our time for the right moment to

share. With friends, we may not want them to know, so they

 do not treat us differently. Neither  do we want to be the

topic of conversation at the next social gathering. 

 

 

Some of us suffer from conditions and handicaps that we can

 do very little about. It’s not the little girl's fault if her dad

decided to mark her face for cultural and identification

purposes. Vitiligo did not only affect the late Michael Jackson,

 there are lots of other sufferers.

 

When we are aware of a loved one’s illness…what can we

do? Remember not to take offence if they do not share the

reason for their ailment with you. Telling them they don’t

look sick will not earn you brownie points.

Assure them of your support to run errands i.e drop off and

pick up kids from school, groceries, etc, visit at convenient

times, bring flowers/food. At Manners Matter our module on

 Tact and Kindness has proven very beneficial in situations

such as this.

Remember not to give unsolicited advice and for goodness

sake stop trying to engage them in long conversations, your

 presence may be all the comfort they need.

 

Yeye Bush

…be Your Best Always!
+2348025656122

The Perfect Guest

We all enjoy visiting friends, they make us feel special by catering to our needs. Giving us the best of what they have to offer. Our hosts make provision for our visit because we are expected…most of the time.

Back in the years before mobile phones, an unannounced visit was very much the norm. Our African society permits it. However, with the chaotic traffic situation, it is wise to call ahead….imagine battling hours of traffic only to get to your destination and find no one home.

Just as our host has a duty to us, we too as guests have a duty to our host. What kind of guests are we though? Do we hog the television remote control, switch to football and watch match after match ignoring our host's and other guest’s preferences? Or are we meant to stay for an hour and are there 5 hours later because we want to watch part 7 of that Nollywood “Epic” on African Magic?

I remember many years ago, we had this unannounced visitor who would ring my bell as early as 7am. He would park himself in front of my television and not leave till night time. I didn’t get a chance to watch any of my shows. I couldn’t protest because of the nature of my husband’s job at the time. I grinned and bore it. The occasional nonchalant “Madam I hope you don’t mind” he would throw my way made me even angrier. Talk about guests from hell…

  

Depending on our relationship with the host

and the purpose of the visit, as guests we

should visit our hosts with a small gift, pay

 them compliments, be mindful of the time

(especially if they have children who need to

be bathed and put to bed), be helpful to our

 host in serving or clearing away. You also

have a duty to be entertaining; ignoring

everyone is a big No.

Remember to thank your host for opening

their home up to you and taking good care of

you. A ‘Thank You’ note sent after your visit

is the perfect touch. At Manners Matter, our

clients are taught how to be the perfect guest

and how write the perfect ‘Thank You’ note,

making them sought after guests!

Yeye Bush

…be  Your Best always!

+2348025656122

DO AS I SAY?

I was asked an interesting question recently, after I posted a picture on manners a child should have by age 9. A mum asked what a child should know by age 5 because she wanted to be sure she was doing the right thing....I wish to put all our minds at rest...we are all doing the best we can! We tell our kids the right things to do and try as much as possible to show them the right way to live....

Our kids watch us like hawks and unfortunately our do sometimes does not match our say. I tell my little one to always be polite, speak softly and be patient....yet at 3years old she has developed road rage! She isn't even old enough to drive!!! That tells you all something doesn't it? What it tells me is, i need to be very mindful when I am driving in Lagos traffic or get a driver so I can be peaceful and serene in the back seat.

I heard the cutest story about Mowa, who is 3years old. Although she cannot read, every night she picks up a prayer book and pretends to read it because she sees her older sister and mum do the same. Believe me when I say, if mum was into Telemundo, Mowa too will be into Telemundo!

We won't always get it right or even  get it right all the time. Try is all we can do. It is an every day process, to be mindful of our actions and the impact they have on our children. It's important we also educate ourselves on the correct etiquette so we can help our children be their  best always.

At Manners Matter we tell parents we are only coming to re-enforce the good job you as a parent are already doing. It is helpful that parents also take etiquette classes so that reinforcement is correct and continuous. We do offer parent and child classes on request.


Yeye Bush.
...be Your Best Always!
+2348025656122